Accidental Motivation
Embracing Fate & Finding Happiness
Written and Narrated by John Holsinger
Copyright 2024
Audio copyright 2024
All rights reserved
Chapter VI: Selfish Happiness (My Philosophy)
“It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority. It’s necessary.” — Mandy Hale
Awakening From Unhappiness
After my accident, I wrestled with questions like, 'Why am I here?’ and ‘Do I have control?’ The answers to these questions were as elusive as those regarding why my father was taken from me when I was ten. I also felt a profound sense of unhappiness and dissatisfaction. I came to realize that change was essential. In my pursuit to evolve to a place where I would feel happier and perhaps better understand life, I began to formulate a concept that I coined Selfish Determinism, a unique perspective that, for me, sheds light on the fundamental forces that govern our universe and challenges traditional notions of free will and fate.
The concept of Universal Order posits that all elements in the universe adhere to fundamental physical laws. As intricate and complex beings, humans are merely highly organized and predictable creatures, guided by these same universal laws. Our thoughts and subsequent actions are not independent choices. Rather, they are responses to prior events and existing circumstances.
I began exploring the influences in my life and came to realize how much they controlled my decisions, my reactions. I also discovered the harsh reality that I never truly had any choice or free will. The philosophy of causal determinism took on new meaning for me.
The brain’s ability to make predictions and respond doesn’t mean we have free will. Decision-making is a methodical process where we utilize our knowledge, weigh options, and consider outcomes. In every situation, no matter how complex, people make what they believe to be the best decision given their circumstances. But there is really only one choice or one option available, and that choice, by default, becomes the best choice. From this perspective, every decision you have ever made in your life was, in fact, the best decision you could have made.
I view my past decisions, really all of my decisions, as the best decisions I could have made given the scope of my knowledge and circumstances. When I hear the phrase “If only I knew then what I know now,” I can’t help but regard it as a wasted sentiment. It may sound simplistic, but I believe that each person’s decisions are the best they can make, as they are based on all the knowledge they have at the moment of decision-making. Because we make decisions based on what we know in the moment, there is no reason to regret past decisions. Our past should be a source of wisdom, as our accumulated knowledge influences and shapes our future.
In my youth, I didn’t fully grasp my own capabilities or the reality around me. While I believed I was actively making my own choices, I now see that I was more of a passive spectator in my own life. Like driftwood floating down Wolf Creek, my life’s journey has been shaped by the places I’ve been, the people I’ve encountered, and many cultural influences. Although I believed I was making choices, I now understand that these choices were dictated by the context of the situation.
As I peeled back the layers of my life in 2016 after my accident, I began to understand the cumulative effect of these lifelong influences and how the path of my whole life led to profound unhappiness. I sadly realized that falling off a bridge and almost dying unhappy was my destiny. I could not have stopped it. Instead of falling into despair, however, I decided that figuring out how to prioritize my own happiness was the only reason to live.
Selfish Determinism
The life philosophy I call Selfish Determinism blends two concepts: a self-interested individual navigating life in a causally determined universe.
